Today is my surgery & I will be gone for a bit...

My surgery was postponed to June 14th Tues. due to my blood pressure lol ;)
I know I should be asleep right now, resting on the nice little pillow of valium the Doc prescribed for me.  He thought it would calm me down enough do I could sleep the night before my surgery, HA!

Not sure yet if the joke is on him or on me, but I'm up, awake, scared, excited and wired!!! ;)  Not on valium silly, I never even took it, I am just wide awake with an energy I haven't had in months.  What's my surgery about you ask? 

Well being that it's about to be 1am and I have to be up at 6am i won't tell you the whole story tonight, but it goes back over 15 years ago, an abusive dentist, fear of a dentist, being attacked 11 years ago; and it has all brought me to tonight.

Short version, I have not smiled in over 10 years, not physically at least, because inside I am a bubble of smiles ;)
I have been to ashamed to smile in public because ((up above where I said I was attacked 11 yrs ago)) the guy knocked out my front tooth, so from then on I smiled with my lips shut, spoke with my mouth as closed as I could, but today I loose that!!!

Today I go into surgery and EVERYTHING from my jaw to my teeth will be fixed, fixed!!! 100% fully fixed and pretty ;) 
Want to know something? I never had a wedding and 90% of that was because I couldn't bear having a wedding because I didn't want people to see me smile. 
Finally!!! Finally I will smile, I won't be afraid to meet people, I will accept invitations by friends to hang out, I will accept invitations to conferences, because I will NO LONGER be afraid to smile in public ;)

Words can not express the anticipation and all of the other feelings I have going on inside.
Want to know a secret?!?!  Yesterday I stood in front of the mirror and practiced smiling ;)  for the 1st time in years I practiced smiling, my face is so sore from all of the giggling I was doing lol.  I hope that this will help me loose that fear of being infront of a camera, because I can't wait to show off my smile to you all ;)

All of that being said, I might not be around this week, it all depends on how the pain management goes, but know that I will be thinking of you all, and i love you guys!!!! ;)


  1. How exciting! I am praying that all goes smoothly and you have a quick recovery!

  2. OHMIGOD!!! That is so sad. :-( I am SO happy you're having this fixed! How wonderful for you! Good luck! I hope this begins a wonderful new chapter in your life full of smiles.

  3. Good luck, lovey! Get better fast.

    Does this mean Will has to save for a wedding now? A big, fancy one?

  4. I, for one, cannot wait to see the first photo you post of your smile!! Good luck and all that jazz for the procedure itself. :)

  5. Thank you SO much my loves!!! ;)

    surgery has been postponed til next Tuesday, so on Monday we can begin the nervous dance again lol ;)

  6. Thank you SO much Lisa & Niri ;) Next time you see me I will be smiling!!! ;D

  7. Good luck!! How very exciting!!

  8. This is exciting to have a smile. Good luck!


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